Goodbye dearest brother.....till we meet again........

Kibs was finally laid to rest on Friday past 3pm beside Tito Romy. Grief has a way of paralyzing and suffocating you and at the same time, breaking your heart to a hundred little pieces that you just want to be swallowed by the earth. Seeing Kibs white coffin being lowered and entombed from sight...and seeing Daddy,quietly crying but definitely all broken up inside was one of the hardest sight to see. My sisters and I have lost a brother and my Dad and Mom are parents who have lost their only son. My Dad, most especially has lost his buddy-buddy and lunch time partner. I still cannot breathe when I will myself to face the reality that I will never see my brother again....and we all have to go on from this. Goodbye Kibs, you will be so greatly missed! I will miss most the spring in your step and your signature smile....  

 I'm Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following paths God made for me
I took his hand I heard him call
Then turned, and bid farewell to all.

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to sing, to play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found my peace... at close of play

And if my parting left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened deep with sorrow
I wish you sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full I've savoured much
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with grief
Lift up your hearts and share with me,
God wants me now. He set me free.

poem Author: Unknown

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Eulogy for Kibs

Today we celebrate the life of my brother, Marlon Raymond Muana Murillo, or Kibs to the family. Everyone is gathered here today in memory of Kibs so that we may celebrate together the joy of his life and share the pain of his untimely passing. Though he is gone, he will forever be in our hearts.

My brother Kibs was just 55 years old when he passed away last Monday at Perpetual Succour Hospital. He was born on October 27, 1956 to Frank and Ciony and was the oldest and only son in a family consisting of 3 other sisters, myself, Lalay & Jojing. Kibs was born into this world like a beam of sunshine to my parents and grandparents as he was the first apo of the Murillo clan. Like all first borns, he became the “shining star” of the family. And he lived up to that image all through our childhood. Growing up from babyhood, Kibs was a precocious little boy and delighted everyone with his outgoing and charming personality. At a very young age he was already exceptionally smart and brainy and already was a talker, non-stop sometimes that it was irritating to both kids and adults alike. :)

Kibs, my sisters and I all had a wonderful and extraordinarily memorable childhood growing up in Sanson Subdivision with all the Muana and Suson cousins. Summer vacation was the best times around the Sanson subdivision with all the kids out and about playing non-stop the whole day. I distinctly remember how enterprising Kibs was then when he charged our cousins a fee to play with his toys. He had the best toys in the neighborhood so all the boy cousins would come to his room to play…hence the play fee. J Those childhood times with my brother and all the cousins will always be memorable times to cherish.

My brother Kibs always had an unending thirst and quest for knowledge. He was the type that would always try to learn something about everything and everything about something. That was why anyone who knows him would agree that Kibs possessed a brilliant mind. He was also a very sociable person who loved being with people and came alive in the company of his cousins and long time friends and even total strangers…mostly with a bottle of beer on hand. What amazed me about my brother’s personality was how he always had an upbeat, friendly, positive and sunny attitude. And of course you would always see that light hearted signature sunny smile plastered on his face. For sure, Kibs has had his own life’s ups and downs just like the rest of us, but he never was one to sulk and let the troubles of life get him down for long. He was always up and about and you could always bet on him walking the streets to go to a friend or cousins house to hang out. You could say, Kibs was a “strike anywhere” kind of person. Now he will be jauntily walking up there in heaven finding someplace to hang out in.

But most important of all, my brother was a gentle and kind hearted soul. He was a calm person and always saw the good in other people, was patient and never judgmental and never was quick to criticize or complain. With that signature smile on his face, he would just turn the other cheek to bad situations and shrug his shoulders and move on. He was a very loving father, a devoted son, a caring brother, uncle, cousin, friend and always was more concerned about other people than himself.

He fought the good fight with his cancer till the end. Kibs could be real stubborn and he showed it with his fighting spirit. The family had to appeal many times to him to let go and to rest and stop his suffering. My brother fought a brave battle for the whole month he was sick…it was so heartbreaking to see how unbelievably fast his health was fading and how he was suffering in pain. At 7:45am on May 21st, Marlon Raymond Muana Murillo, Ekieboy, Kiboy, Kibs, Marloni was no more. 


Kibs leaves us all with broken hearts, flowing tears and profound sadness. We will all miss him dearly and remember painfully all the memories of our times with him. But he would not want us to be grieving for him and instead would want us to celebrate his life with ardent joy and heartfelt and loving remembrance of memories past. Kibs lived a full life.

Goodbye dear brother, we bid you adieu. We will miss you so much….We love you and thank God for the gift that is you. 

Rest in peace….till we meet again.

Celebration of life

A new journey for our Kibs begins....my brother has left this world and died peacefully this morning, May 21st at around 8am (Phil time) and around 5pm on May 20 Sunday (US time). His journey in this world has now ended and he is on to another brilliant and heavenly journey up there.....


Our hearts are broken to pieces that Kibs has now ventured on out of this mortal life. But he is now in a better place of light, pure love, unending peace and a place where pain and suffering will not touch my brother again. I can just picture his signature excited smile when he sees the welcoming faces of Nanay, Lolo Jose, Tito Boy Muana, Tita Lalen and Tito Romy Murillo, Lolo Santos and Lola Susan Murillo. He was the "wonder boy" apo when we were kids so I am sure they will all be happy to see him walking with the spring in his step into the pearly gates of heaven. With that happy reunion scenario in my mind, I am blanketed with a wave of comfort and joy amidst the stabbing pain of grief and loss.  


I was able to say my last goodbyes to him when I asked Marjorie (his care giver) to put the phone in his ear. I had to be strong and let him go just as he had to stop fighting and just rest his tired body. I just realized that I have been a pest to my sisters in Cebu.... as I have been calling them nonstop at home and in the hospital everyday and also skyping with them asking for the minute details about how our brother is doing...did he wake up/is he in pain/what are the doctor's saying/how is Dad doing, etc, etc? I also call up Kibs hospital room daily and talk to his care giver and also talk to Kibs though he could not answer back  anymore but  I know he heard me.  Kibs has not woken up for 2 days and his organs were failing. It was only a matter of time and Jojing and Dad agreed on a DNR yesterday.


I celebrate my brother's life that was full of a positive spirit and  a kind heart  and I celebrate him for the person that he was ...always a picture of a beaming, jolly and upbeat  and smiling person.


May he rest in peace and enjoy eternal bliss in God's kingdom. My family now has our own special Murillo angel up there............


Preliminary Info:
Wake is at St. Peter's Memorial Chapel in Imus till Friday. 
Funeral is scheduled on Friday at CemPark Banilad.

Fighting spirit and joy in this journey

I took a picture this morning of this saying in my desk with a vase of freshly picked roses from the garden. If Kibs could see this and read this saying, he would be nodding his head and agreeing and then tilting his head to the side, purse his mouth and then smile, his usual sunny smile. I call it now his "patented signature" smile.

So... "Find joy in every journey" ????? What joy??? And I would have said WTF! (silently and in my head only, of course). I have this "journey" saying hanging in my office wall because it is one of my favorites...only that it does not seem to make sense to find any joy in this journey of sickness, sadness and pain for Kibs and the family. His condition has turned from moderately bad to very bad now.  When Jojing brought him back to the hospital last Monday, the doctors found out that he has "hepatic encephalopathy". This is a worsening of the brain function because the liver is no longer processing normally and so the toxic substances have gone up to this brain. That was why he was acting very lethargic, confused and had slurred speech on Sunday. And his liver is now overrun with cancer cells and the damage to his liver is irreversible. :(

Jojing says the doctors are still hopeful though this hepatic encephalopathy can still be arrested and not worsen and Kibs still get his brain function back. Hence he has all these needles and tubes on both arms for the medicines, a nose tube for his feedings and oxygen for him to breathe. The lung xray showed his liver pushing up his lungs now hence his need for oxygen to aid in his breathing. And he is in constant pain. Dad, who has been so brave and holding it together these past weeks and has visited with Kibs everyday, has now showed some cracking because I am sure he cannot stand to see Kibs in pain with all the medical intervention being done on him. He told me that he wants to take Kibs home and just take care of Kibs himself. :(  Of course he denied saying that when Jojing asked him as that is not a feasible option at all for Kibs who would be needing 24 hour medical care now. It was just a very pained 79 year old parent feeling helpless he could not do anything to ease his son's suffering. Kibs now knocks off to sleep most of the time but from time to time wakes up for a few moments and still understands even if he cannot speak.  Kibs had to have restraints on his wrists because he was pulling out his nose tube and was so restless...restless because he is in so much pain.  But like all medical treatments, the goal is hopefully for the patient to get better or if not better, at least prevent the condition from worsening further. Only that it will involve all the tubes, needles, medications and pain. So I would like to rationalize that  this pain now for Kibs might equate to some hope for him to at least revert back to being lucid and alert and not lethargic and confused.

It is obvious that Kibs is fighting this. Maricel, a dear family friend, who visited Kibs yesterday reported that Kibs showed a lot of fighting spirit by trying to sit for her visit, managed a smile and nod and wanted to talk.  His brain may have become foggy but he seems to still understand and know what is going on around him. So there must still be hope for my brother's brain ....but the spirit might be willing and strong...that is evident now with Kibs. Only that his body is not. That is the reality.

So we come back to "where is the joy" in all of this? None at all. That would be me answering this question. If hypothetically we were to ask this of Kibs himself, given his  normal positive and optimistic outlook, he would contradict me and say there is still joy in this Big C journey. And he need not say it but knowing him, I am positive he is happy to feel the love and to see and know his family is rallying around him to support and care for him, he gets joy seeing his cousins and friends visiting him and knowing people are praying for him and thinking about him. Just like Maricel's visit to him yesterday, he insisted on making the nurse prop him up in bed amidst his tubes and restraints so he could see Maricel and try to interact with her, even if he could not speak. I am sure even if he was in pain then, he was still happy to see her visit him. Kibs, ever the social creature will not  let his illness and pain stop him from interacting with his visitors even if it is now beyond his strength and speech. He always liked to be around people, especially if it was hanging out with friends and cousins. In short, he is the real "tambay" kid. Being around people excites Kibs and he is in his element in a group...a social creature by nature.

Maricel told him about my blog and she said, he smiled. Social creature again. And he had her relay a message for Mommy and me...to let us know that he loves us.

So I dedicate the saying with the beautiful roses to my brother today. I would think he would want me to see some joy in this battle too. And with his own fighting spirit still evident, it is just right to still see the good things happening amidst the bad things the family is journeying in now. Hope, faith and the image of my brother's signature smile (in my mind and heart) will help me through.

Backpack and computer...pants and shirt with tags on



Kibs - May 15, 2012

 I woke up this morning  to the email update from Jojing about Kibs that the cancer has now overrun his liver and so now it has affected his brain. His diseased liver is also pushing up on his lungs, hence he has trouble breathing and so he now has to be on oxygen to breathe. He is now very lethargic/weak and mostly sleeps and if awake is mostly confused and slurred in speech. And because the big C has now invaded Kibs brain, that means that what was the real core of my brother's talent and genius might now be gone....his intellect. Kibs has  good "ADHD"(hyperactivity) in the head as his brain could process one and a thousand thoughts non stop, so to speak. He has a brilliant mind and could engage anyone into conversing about any topic under the sun. He could devour a book anywhere he is and he could spew out business proposals or written documents with hardly a sweat on him. So with this cancer now invading his brain, he would not be doing any of  those mind things anymore.



Dad, Kibs and Jojing - May 14, 2012

 My sister Jojing, who has been Kibs angel of unconditional love and devoted care in Cebu, went to Kibs room in her house to tidy it up. We were all hoping his stint in the hospital was just short and he would be returning to Jojing's house. But it seems it might not be the case anymore as Kibs would be needing 24 hour medical care now. The first things Jojing saw in the room were his backpack and computer...those are the 2 things Kibs always has with him. Of course upon seeing those items, she could not help but breakdown in tears as the truth is that Kibs will not be needing them anymore. She also saw the pants and shirt she gifted him last Christmas with the tags still on them.  He must have been saving to wear it for a special occassion. It was too much heartwrenching for Jojing to be touching that shirt and pants with the tags still on. It makes us realize that in our lives we only have today for sure and tomorrow is not promised and sure  at all. Kibs has so much life, enthusiasm, talent, joy inside of him but God has other plans for him after all for his "tomorrow".  His laptop computer, which I bought for him on his 52nd birthday is a mine field of all his business proposals and projects and his researches...in short Kibs mini brain bank/extension. He had Anton, my son, download a lot of songs (oldies mostly)  and I am sure all his email correspondences with his sons and legion of friends were his treasures in there too. 

My sisters and I and especially my Dad now have to face the stone cold, brutal and most painful fact that our "real" Kibs might now be gone in mind and spirit though physically still struggling with this disease. I cannot endure to see my brother in this condition especially if he himself would be aware of how this cancer has now wasted him. I wish for him not to be aware and to comprehend this, if possible. It is too deep a trench of sorrow and despair that is being dug for all of the family to fall in....but with God's mercy and love, we will all get through this somehow.

I would like to make mention and acknowledge all the support for the family especially from our Muana, Murillo and Suson cousins and for all the other relatives and BFFs and friends who have all come out in support and love for Kiboy and all of us. My sisters and I and I am sure Kibs too find a lot of comfort in all your support and love for Kibs.  I know some of our dear cousins are really so saddened by this and their own past feelings of lost and missing their own dear departed love ones would naturally rise up and affect them all over again.  Family is family after all....no time, distance or circumstances can ever change that.

My Dad has been visiting Kibs every day and of course he is in despair as all of us. But he has been holding up so well and being strong through all of these. My sister, Lalay, will be arriving in Cebu this Friday from Dubai so that gives me great comfort and relief that Dad and Jojing will now have her to help them deal with the day to day medical stuff for Kibs. My sister, Lalay, is a take-charge-no-nonsense person and is strong enough to take emotions out of the way to do what needs to be done. Jojing has also shown so much fortitude through all of these and I am in awe, amazed, so proud of her and so grateful and thankful that our youngest sister has marched on bravely with so much love, heart, devotion and compassion to care for our  dying brother. I, on the other hand, is one big emotional mess (not really proud to admit it being the older of my 2 sisters)  and that is why there is this blog to help me cope. This was initially just a blog to talk to myself about my brother and put in words all the thoughts, memories and feelings welling up inside when I thought of Kibs.  But now that it is open to family and friends, I hope it will help them get a sense and perspective of Kibs, as a brother  and also ease their own sadness at Kibs  journey now.

Our mother however has not yet been told of Kibs condition. Mommy  had a near fatal major heart attack in July 2009 and she was 3 times on the brink of death then. Kibs (who was here at that time) and I credited her very good doctors and effective medical care here for pulling her through. She has since recovered and is stable now with her illnesses but of course is now in a wheelchair and also needs help with daily activities. Her mind is still as sharp but I know her heart might not be, especially if told of her first born and only son's irreversible condition. My sisters have left it up to me when I will reveal the sad news to Mommy. So it is a struggle now for me to time when I should be telling Mommy the very bad news. My Mom's usual day is mostly quiet and calm and she is content reading the newspapers, reading her prayer books and doing the daily crossword puzzle at home. I will eventually need to shatter that quiet time and rattle her out of her comfort zone to impart to her the devastating news of her son....it needs more praying for guidance for me and more storing up of strength reserves and building up courage to give my 80 year old frail mother heart searing news.  :(

A dear aunt from our childhood, Tita Thelma Suson shared this prayer which helped her when she was battling cancer before too....it is about trusting and surrendering to the Lord. Thank you Tita Thelma!

Prayer from St. Pio  - for Kibs and for all:

My past O Lord, to your mercy
My present O Lord, to your love
My future O Lord, to your Providence

Eye waterworks

I cry everyday when I think of my brother.....and this is not being melodramatic about it ...and I should be handling this a bit better and getting a grip on myself ...and I should be more stronger than this... and should not be overwhelmed by my sadness and tears.... and I should be strong and conquer my fears and misery....etc etc etc.... .BUT those are the "SHOULD BE's"  and what one should be feeling and acting in a parallel world where there is no sickness, pain, hurt and suffering.  This real world ...my world now, where the sun still shines bright and where  the birds still merrily chirp me awake in the mornings at home, where there is a lot to open your arms to as blessings and joy in life, is a real world..but  this real world of mine the past  three (3) weeks has just been laden with a breaking heart, lots of unbidden tears and profound heartsick sadness and sorrow. it is just still too painful to accept and think that my brother's life in this earth is now only a matter of months, maybe even weeks and not years.

We would not be "growing old" together after all.............. :(


Solvang, California 2008

Being the 2 oldest in the family, it was supposed to happen that we would age into the "golden years" together. We are a generation duo just like our 2 younger sisters are together in their own generation. Kibs and I have a comfortable sibling relationship and though he was at times a burden and headache to the family, he always knew the boundaries when it came to our relationship as siblings. He deferred more to me like I was the oldest of the siblings mainly because he has been negligent a lot of times before in the "being responsible and not screwing up your life" department. Hence he lost the title of being the "eldest" thru those bad phases in his life. And I naturally got designated by default then as the oldest one especially since I had 2 sisters after me. But even with the "demotion" in the family heirarchy, Kibs and I still blended well together. I especially felt so much gratitude and added love for my brother in 2009 when he came over to help me care for Mom when Mom had her heart attack. It was a time of sadness too and stress with Mommy struck down with an almost fatal heart attack. And he did not think twice when Jojing and I asked him to take time off from his  job in Cebu and come for a few months to California to help me with caring for Mom. I would not have made it thru those stressful months without Kibs and his positive, calm and accepting helpful attitude. He was Mom's care giver then and actually was mine too. One sentence or one word from me and he would get what I meant. And one sugo (command) from me and he was doing it without complaint. He actually knows how I think and so that is why we blend so well....more so now in our "golden years."

San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge 2008

So the constant tears are for the knowledge that my very talented, bright, amiable, upbeat, breezy, mild mannered, sociable, engaging  and loving big brother will soon be leaving us. His condition has greatly deteriorated in a span of 3 weeks and Jojing had to bring him back to the hospital yesterday. He is now very weak and thin, in constant pain, erratically lucid and speaks in a raspy voice. The big C has reduced my brother to this and robbed me of our "growing old together"  time.

He was supposed to come to the US this year for a visit to see Mom and me. And so there will be no more long drives and long conversations with my brother. And I cannot even hug him and say goodbye....so how can I not cry and have continuous eye waterworks with that reality ?????????



Hands...in the family

It is common knowledge for those family and friends in Facebook that my sister Carla (Lalay to family) has flourished from a home craft hobbyist into a serious "mananahi" of bags, buntings, pillows and other stuff like this IPad case shown here.

And being the oldest of the 3 sisters, I have priority rights to "request" her to make me my own bag or craft that I fancy. One of those "requests" is the sleeve bag below for my Tablet.

But when I saw the 3rd picture of a hand (see below) modelling the IPad case, I did a double take and looked at it closely and told Lalay that it looked like Kibs hand rather than her hand. It was kind of weird for me as I always know this positioning of the hand when it came to Kibs. This to me really looked like Kibs's hand!

Kibs is an avid book reader and could just sit in one corner and silently read through a book and comprehend it so thoroughly in just one sitting. When you see him walking around, it is usually with a book in hand and that is how his hand is always positioned when he carries his book. Hence this picture of Lalay holding this case just gives my mind the picture of it being Kibs hand holding a book. Lalay also tells me that this is how our Nanay's hands look like too.



So much as this seems like a trifle topic of hands... it is of significance to me because the heartbreaking reality is that I will never get to see my brother jauntily walking down the street with a book in his hand...again....ever.... with the hands in the family.

Family is family....

Desk calendar saying

My family has come strongly together now with Kibs sickness. Not that me, Kibs and my two (2) sisters were not close before ...in fact, we are too close enough for comfort sometimes and frankly was in the middle of a minor brewing word war  among each other before the lethal bomshell diagnosis of pancreatic cancer for our brother was dropped on us. Kibs also was most of the times a big disappointment to the family with the bad decisions he made in his life and went thru some pretty bad phases in his life too (his own doing) ....and it was either me or Jojing who was in and out with our support for him. Daddy, however was always all out support for Kibs even if it bordered on "enabling" and no accountability for Kibs. Dad is Dad and always a father and he would also be blindly supportive of any of his daughters if we were the ones in Kibs shoes. That is what I know of Dad...always a father...in deed and in the heart. And I could never understand before why he would put up with Kibs antics before and not resort to being drastic with him like we sisters would be. And now that I see Dad being with Kibs every day,I can only imagine how much suffering as a parent he is going through. The oncologist honestly but gently told Dad that it is difficult for parents to know that their child is going before they do.....that is exactly what is in store for Daddy and Mommy. And being a parent myself, how in the world can we be able to put sense and acceptance in those words "your child is going to die before you". I am sure Daddy heard those words from Dr. Tudtud clearly and know those words will come true soon but no parent could ever accept that in the heart even if his mind tells him to.

But with this irreversible fate facing Kibs now and the "D" word staring all of us in the face, all the past disappointments, hurts, pain, resentment, indifference towards Kibs have been swiftly blown away in the wind. Swoosh - out into the blue sky and quickly forgotten and dissolved with the feelings of just love and support for Kibs. Everyone has come together as a family. I also make special mention of my two brother-in-laws, Jonathan and Max, who has shown us so much support, love, generosity and most of all sincere compassion for our brother. It certainly is not the best of times for our family to become stronger and actually one of the saddest times in our family...but as Lalay said, Kibs is bringing us all together as a family....and aptly so. Now he is being true to his role as  the oldest in the family, I should say.

Skype laugh :)

I had a good laugh when skyping with Kibs and Jojing today...a much welcome and needed laugh. I am feeling lighter and better than yesterday. It didn't feel so hard now talking to Kibs as yesterday. God's little mercies for me...the lightness of being and some laughter and easy banter with my siblings and Dad and Max in skype...... :)

The one comment that Kibs made that made me and Jojing laugh was about the people praying for him. I mentioned that it is good a lot of people know about his condition so they would pray for him. Kibs then said, "maybe that is why I cannot sleep at nights" as they are all praying and thinking of me"...in short, all the intentions for him are keeping him awake... LOL. My brother still has some jokes on him...that is good and normal :). We need a lot of normal now with the abnormal condition he is in now. It is actually his gnawing stomach and back pain keeping him up at nights.

Skype sorrow :(

I just video skyped for the first time with Kibs and though I was happy to talk to him, seeing him in his state now only gave the word "sorrow" a real intense meaning and feeling, I could not believe how my chirpy and active brother was now walking so slow with a cane and speaking in a weak and hoarse-old-man's voice. Since I could see him in my screen like he could see me in his, he promptly asked me the question "how do I look?". He must have lost 20 lbs in  the past 2 weeks 1/2 and I could see his skeletal frame underneath his sagging shirt. He was still being cheery and as usual wanted to converse more only that Francis, then Anton and then Dad came on to say hello.
Video skype is cool really but I really have not taken much to it even when it started way back. It used to be so spotty before (for sound and images) and the images were in delayed mode so it really didn't appeal to me. Now the sound and video image is of top notch quality - no more delay in voice or video and the image is crisp and clear. But my first introduction back to video skype with its crisp and clear video only showed me how Kibs has transposed to being healthy a few weeks back to being very sick now.
Video skype has brought me those images tonight and what sorrow and sadness it brought out in me :( :( :(

God's Little Mercies

Today was a good day and God's little mercies showed itself today. I talked to Dad and he sounded happy and cheery mainly because he saw that Kibs had improved somewhat since the last time he saw him. Dad also was assured that Dr. Tudtud, the oncologist was "legit" as Dad called him and knew his job. And so Dad was assured Kibs was in the hands of a good and caring doctor.

Kibs has also started on his Tarceva medication yesterday and he said that he slept so very well last night... the first good night's sleep he had in a long time he said. Daddy said he looked better physically too and has color back in his face and his face was not looking like the "mascara falling down"...whatever he meant. :)

The Spring in his Step....




Norman and Kibs - the first 2 apos of Nanay and Lolo Jose

 My then 19 year old son Anton asked me  a few years back" Ma why does Uncle Kibs walk like that?" I asked him what he meant and what kind of walk was he pertaining to about his uncle. Anton said "he walks like he has a skip and spring on one side while walking." And indeed my older and only brother does indeed have a skip and spring in his step when walking. You could see the happy spring and joyful skip when he walks and it shows oh so naturally.


My brother who is fondly called "Kibs" in the family and is "Marlon" to cousins, friends and colleagues was born 55 years ago to loving parents Franklin "Frank" Osmena Murillo and Fe Asuncion "Ciony" Muana-Murillo. Kibs held the distinction of being the first Murillo grandchild and rightfully named Marlon Raymond Murillo.  He was however 2nd apo for Nanay and Lolo Jose Muana after Norman who was only 5 months older than him.


Daddy, Marlon, Mommy and me

 There was a minor name debate from my paternal grandparents and parents before Kibs was born as my grandfather wanted to name him "Mustafa".  He would have been named "Mustafa Murillo"....how could he have survived the teasing then, I wonder, if my insistent Lolo won the name battle???? LOL....

I do not recall the reason behind his nickname which was "Ekieboy" but as he grew up , the little boyish name Ekieboy evolved to being Kiboy and eventually just Kibs....yep, my brother Kibs who has a spring in his step.

He is two years older than I am and has always been the intellectual so-called genius in the family. His brain is a powerhouse of knowledge and I still get amazed at how much he knows and can comprehend. He was already a precocious boy even at such an early age as 2 years old and already was constantly curious and inquisitive about everything. He also would not stop asking over and over a question till he gets satisfied with the answer. That was why he was such an irritating nuisance at times not only for the adults but also to us sisters and the other cousins. I marveled at how he reveled in the company of not only the kids in the neighborhood but also felt so at home in the company of adults like he was also an adult. My mother was so proud of how bright and precocious and delightful he was when presented to the adults. He was always like a shining star in social occassions when my mother had the opportunity to show him off. For Kibs, it all came naturally for him to be a social creature. He could fit in anywhere he was and always had something to say to a new acquaintance, whether a child or an adult. But I am sure the other children like me thought of him as a weirdo. I grew up from babyhood to be the total opposite of Kibs as I was so grumpy and anti-social and was so shy and suplada in new social settings. In a way, Kibs cornered the "wonder-child" market for all of us then as he stood out as the delightful kid who was so "smart and witty" and cute and guapo at that. 

And so now, all those childhood memories of growing up with my brother evades and dances through my head like a collage of pictures - which produces both a smile and some tears...the bittersweet heart wrenching pain sets in more now with the realization that Ekieboy/Kibs/ Marlon is now facing what might be the last battle of his life.

Marlon and Daddy - May 3, 2012

Kibs was shockingly diagnosed with pancreatic cancer stage 4 last April 22! He was having intense stomach pains mid April and after all tests were done, the devastating bomb of a diagnosis shook Marlon and me and my sisters to the core....pancreatic cancer stage 4 - meaning the cancer has spread to his liver and even lungs. Just like that, our family's world did a 180 degree flip to the world of the big C! It came like a thief in the night and up to now I am still reeling from the shock. Of course it was pure denial and refusal to accept my brother's diagnosis at first....anguished questions came unbidden "how could it be?, why is this happening to us?, how could God give Kibs this fatal disease?, why is it incurable?, why is it so painful to accept?...etc etc etc....

My sister Jojing who is bravely , lovingly and selflessly taking care of Kibs in Cebu  posted this....

Key words: miracles/prayers/broken hearts/faith

Kibs needs a miracle and prayers and our broken hearts need faith to go on.... God's will be done.