It is indeed hard to wake up to a day knowing a loved one is not there anymore. And for the parents, brothers, sisters, spouses, children, cousins, friends of all the 12 Aurora Colorado shooting victims, waking up today knowing that they lost a loved one is a battle in itself. You open your eyes and all you see is your loved one's face and the memories come flooding back in torrents and as always, the spear of sorrow and remembrance of memories stabs the heart with unbearable pain of longing and loneliness. My heart goes out to all those families and friends affected by this terrible tragedy in Aurora Colorado. All 12 lives were snuffed out so suddenly....gone too soon...too young to die! Who could imagine that one night in the movies could turn a lot of lives upside down with shocking sadness and unfathomable despair in an instant? So many questions must be going through the minds of all....the fathers, the mothers, the siblings, the spouses etc...and just the horror of those last few minutes of their lives is enough to haunt even those that do not know them personally. How much more for these families and friends who are now all broken-hearted with grief and even anger? There is no easy way or easy solution to handle the raw pain of grief and the realization that you will never see your son, daughter, sibling, partner or friend again. Never again....not in this lifetime.
In our case, my sisters and I are bereft of the presence of our eldest sibling and only brother in our lives. It has been 2 months since he passed away. He is now gone and we will never be able to see him physically, hear him, talk to him, smile or cry with him, hug and embrace him or just live together under the same sky, sun and moon and share the earthly life. I am positive though that he is now happily esconed in the place of pure light where there is is only joy and happiness and definitely no more pain and sadness. For me, it is too cool and so comforting and refreshing imagining Kibs being in heaven now interacting and being with Nanay, Lolo Jose, Tito Boy, Tito Romy and Tita Lalen and hopefully with Lolo Santos and Lola Susan too and other relatives. I imagine Kibs up there with his perpetual boyish smile and his always twinkling and no-judgment eye look...spending a heavenly happy carefree and God-blessed day in his new home. And to that I say - I truly envy my brother! And when God deems it time for me to be there too, then I say, I can't wait to see Kibs again. All in God's time....until we meet again, dear brother.
But till then...for those left behind by our loved ones who have passed on, life goes on for all of us. Though our hearts will continuously feel the pain and grief, time is still on our side and healing and coping with our loss will eventually get better. I deeply still miss Kibs a lot and still wish he was not gone...but I know he is watching over all of us now and smiling down on us.
My brother is now my guardian angel....how cool is that?
