After 104 days in Chong Hua (3 months and 14 days), Anton finally is back home in Mactan and now sleeping in his own bed. He was so happy to be home and cried tears of joy! My warrior son has been through such an ordeal the past 3 months but he has been so brave through it all. The road to his recovery has been slow though positive and though it will still be a long road to full recovery, the best thing is that he has improved so much since that harrowing day in July 7, 2013. That day is now a bad dream and memory and with Anton back home, there is so much hope and light/"kahayag" that he will now continue on to getting better and back to good health.
I cannot put into words how what happened to Anton has affected me so deeply. First it was Kibs sudden illness and subsequent death last year, followed by Tita Nora's passing in November and then Mom's passing in April 30 this year. Your heart breaks and grieves for a love one's passing and of course the death of a loved one is not an easy experience at all. So while the family was still reeling from the 3 deaths in the family in a span of 1 year, we were struck and blindsided shockingly with Anton's medical crisis. And having your only child struck down so suddenly overnight with an unexpected medical emergency and on the brink of death was the ultimate knee-breaker that makes you fall down to the ground and crumble in despair with your heart breaking to a thousand little pieces!!!
You raise your child starting from your womb and take care of them and protect them the best way you can - as all mothers do. And you always wish that they are happy, healthy and safe all the time. But you cannot protect them all the time and when they are grown, they have to start to experience life on their own. In short, a parent needs to step aside "and let life happen" for them. But I didn't think in my wildest dreams that this was what "life" had in store for my child! What a big and daunting challenge from life for my young 24 year old son! Before, I was worried about Anton's tonsilitis or ingrown toe nail infection recurring and other little mother-son worries, only to be slapped in the face to the reality that those were just microscopic worries compared to... getting the sudden and unexpected news that he had blood clot in his cervical spine the size of a sausage that was compressing on his spine and endangering his life! The doctors' initial prognosis was very pessimistic then that Anton would be on a breathing respirator the rest of his life and he would not be able to walk again. Any parent would react and feel the same heart-wrenching despair I and Bimboy felt, same with my sisters and relatives and friends. I am thankful that Tita Nora and Mommy are not around anymore to know this has happened to their favorite apo as they would not be able to take it. And the initial dire prognosis from the doctors was just that...initial...as Anton has come out of this and survived and now is progressing well. My warrior child...fighting on! :)
Thankfully I am able to handle all these and am still standing strong and sane till now. The wind has been strongly knocked out of me and has pulled me down mercilessly but I refuse to stay down for long. I thank my family genes of internal strength and having the control of not breaking down and breaking apart. Of course, practice makes perfect and I have had a lot of practice in the life's-trials-and-challenges" department. In fact, cheesy as it sounds but like Whitney Houston's song says, "I was not built to break, no, no...I got to know my own strength".
And I have never been one for self-pity but when someone tells me to my face while I am really down, worried and despairing for my only son who is in pain and suffering that "there is nothing cruel in my life now", that just takes the wind out of me some more! Only someone who is not a parent could say that. Because when you are a parent, your world revolves around your children and not only on your own self. How can it not be cruel to know your child is sick and ailing and I cannot be there for him. No one has the right to diminish and consequently disrespect a mother's anguish for her suffering child!!! No one! :(
And I have never been one for self-pity but when someone tells me to my face while I am really down, worried and despairing for my only son who is in pain and suffering that "there is nothing cruel in my life now", that just takes the wind out of me some more! Only someone who is not a parent could say that. Because when you are a parent, your world revolves around your children and not only on your own self. How can it not be cruel to know your child is sick and ailing and I cannot be there for him. No one has the right to diminish and consequently disrespect a mother's anguish for her suffering child!!! No one! :(
Other than that one negative thing, I and Bimboy and the family are so grateful and so ever thankful for all the prayers, love, concern, moral and financial support for Anton all through these 3 roller coaster months!
Like I mentioned he still has a long way to go before he can be mobile and walking again but lots of good vibes abound and a positive energizing spirit surges through all our veins especially inside Anton that he will come out of this and get back to good health and a normal life again. He is my warrior child ... so brave and so strong and he is the "best poem, the masterpiece and shining star in my life". For that I am BLESSED!
Like I mentioned he still has a long way to go before he can be mobile and walking again but lots of good vibes abound and a positive energizing spirit surges through all our veins especially inside Anton that he will come out of this and get back to good health and a normal life again. He is my warrior child ... so brave and so strong and he is the "best poem, the masterpiece and shining star in my life". For that I am BLESSED!
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